The Daily Kudos

During the Oilers playoff run I have ignored completely the MLB which I usually loosely follow throughout the summer. After the Oilers loss last night, I remembered that baseball exists and that I enjoy it, so I woke up this morning and went to bluejays.com and to check the standings. And low and behold, and by uncle Jonathan's corn-cob pipe the flipping Detroit Tigers are in first place with the best record in the MLB (47-24). What kind of a crazy, topsy-turvy world are we living in here? How did this happen? Some questions I will just never know the answer to. They will boggle, and baffle and irritate my brain and perhaps one day drive me to lunacy.

Other questions of this nature include: How is it possible that so many people in this world think it's funny to ask me where I'm goin' with that gun in my hand (with roughly half of them playing air guitar afterwards and mimicking the Jimi Hendrix guitar riff)? Or how does that sitcom with Charlie Sheen manage to stay on the air?

Last night, as I stepped off of the bus, another of these questions was added to my list and I would like to say kudos to the person who added them. This person has managed to pose a question to my brain that I will never know the answer to and which will forever irritate me.

Here is what happened. I stepped off of the bus at Lakeshore and noticed a young couple walking toward me. Incidentaly, the girl may or may not have been singer/songwriter Bif Naked while the guy may or may not have been this guy.


They were enjoying a lively conversation about something or other and as they passed by me I was used as an example for some point the girl was making. She said, "...just like that guy..." and then they both bust-a-gut laughing and walked away leaving me with the unanswerable question of what was so uproariously funny about my appearance to make me the subject of fun.
Now perhaps I ought to congratulate this girl for posing two unanswerable questions for my brain to chew on. The other being this: why are so many people in this world so thoroughly incapable of judging how loud they are speaking and who can or can not hear them?

Now, I think quite a bit about things. I say that not to be a braggart and to go tootling my own horn (because really I think only on idiot things that are relevant to no one), but only to say how much agony this put me through. I did a thorough tabulation of my appearance and found that I looked no more or less ridiculous than I normally do. My hair these days, by virtue of lacking a haircut for some months now, is something of an unruly bird's nest but I ruled that out as a possibility because really anything passes for 'a look' these days. I then looked at my clothes, corduroys and a green shirt. My shoes are a fairly standard pair of white runners, which hide my detestable feet. I know we MacLachlan's seem to sport unusually large noses...

My Nose (look at that monster)

Greg's Nose


...but really it was rather dark out so I have to dismiss that possibility.

I will never know why I was the subject of such jocularity. So kudos Biff Naked (or whoever you are), kudos to you my vociferous friend. You have contributed two more questions to my ever growing list of irritating questions to which I will never know the answer. Much greater men than I have gone mad from much less than irritating questions with no answers. Jonathan Swift I'm told, went mad from ringing in his ears.