I've Got a Blog...Perhaps You'd Like to Read It

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

...and you call yourselves Scottish nationalists?

According to a story from the BBC today, Kenny MacAskill of the currently governing Scottish National Party (SNP) has introduced measures to ban "cut-price and free alcohol offers in Scottish shops." That is, MacAskill wants to end deeply discounted alcohol prices and "get one free" promotions. The measure is part of a larger campaign to end Scotland's "'destructive' drinking culture." The bodies of my ancestors - perfectly preserved, no doubt, by the alcohol in their systems - must be rolling over in their graves.

I say shame on you MacAskill. As a member of the Scottish National Party you parade yourself as a nationalist, yes? Nationalism is patriotic feeling based on language, religion, geography, and CULTURE. And I use caps-locked letters sparingly. Normally I just use italicized lettering; however I think MacAskill's gross crime against Scottish inebriation culture warrants the use of all upper-case typeface. What's next? A ban on Scottish soccer hooliganism? Or headbutts?
End destructive drinking culture? Where is your pride MacAskill? A man who can barely stand, peeing on a Glasgow street corner ought bring joy to your heart and a tear to your eye.

Think of the consequences of past temperance campaigns. In 1922, largely because he was against prohibition, Winston Churchill lost his seat in Parliament in the riding of Dundee, Scotland. Instead, Edwin Scrymgeor, a prohibitionist and namesake to the moronic Minister of Magic who refuses to take Dumbledore's advice in Harry Potter, won the seat. At any rate, when Churchill ran for office again in 1923 and 1924 it was in London constituencies. Not Scottish ones. To draw any number of illogical conclusions from this event, think of the lost glory! Churchill would have been remembered as a Scottish hero! Scotland would be remembered as having won the Battle of Britain. It would therefore be Scotland, and not the United States, nor the Soviet Union, who had saved the world from Adolf Hitler. All because of the temperance campaign.

Also, has anyone thought of the effect Scottish temperance would have on stand up comedy? Put an end to destructive drinking and you leave Scottish comedians with nothing. Nothing except loud profanity. The Irish would have a complete monopoly on destructive drinking-based humour.

So MacAskill, in the name of all that is drunken and urine stained, please, end the campaign to end destructive drinking in Scotland.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

The God Delusion

This past Christmas, I was given a book by my wife Amy. This is nothing unusual; I enjoy reading and often receive books as gifts. It was unusual however, that Amy would purchase for me a book by one of the world's foremost atheists, Richard Dawkins. It was indeed his latest book, the subject of some controversy lately, The God Delusion.

I was intrigued; not by the book so much as by its very shiny cover (I like shiny things). It was a shimery silver and looked almost like a mirror. However, after seeing Dawkins interviewed on The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos and deciding that he was quite intelligent and witty, I decided that it might be worthwhile to spend some hours looking at the pages of the book as well as the cover.

My favourite book of all time (and I think it would be even if I did not agree with most of it) is Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. Dawkins' book is sort of an anti-Mere Christianity; presenting an argument in favour of atheism. It falls roughly into three sections: the first deals with the philosophical arguments for God's existence that have been presented throughout history; the second provides a plausible alternative to a designed universe; and the third addresses some of the authors own concerns about religion. Dawkins, a trained biologist, presents very convincing scientific arguments; however, I was disappointed to find that his arguments against men like Aquinas and Lewis lacked any real substance or thought.

Two passages in particular demonstrate the weakness of Dawkins' arguments. The first of these is spoken in reference to this passage from Saint Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologica:

"There are degrees of...goodness or perfection. But we judge these degrees only by comparison with a maximum...Therefore there must be some maximum to set the standard for perfection, and we call that maximum God."

Dawkins' reply is, "That's an argument? You might as well say, people vary in smelliness but we can make the comparison only by reference to a perfect maximum of conceivable smelliness. Therefore there must exist a pre-eminently peerless stinker..."

In addition to being merely an appeal to ridicule (this fallacy, actually, is ubiquitous in the book), this is clearly a false analogy. Goodness is an abstract entity, while odour is concrete. Therefore Dawkins' comparison does not work and his criticism is invalid. C.S. Lewis addresses the same issue in Mere Christianity saying:

"Everyone has heard people quarrelling...They say things like this: 'How'd you like it if anyone did the same to you?'...Now what interests me about these remarks is that the man who makes them is not merely saying that the other man's behaviour does not happen to please him. He is appealing to some kind of standard of behaviour which he expects the other man to know about."

Dawkins' argument is invalid because odours are non-absolute. To say the odour of a person is bad is, in Lewis' words, merely saying that the odour does not happen to please you. However to say something (or someone) is good or bad in and of itself is to appeal to an absolute standard outside of yourself. The God Delusion, therefore fails to properly address Aquinas' (or Lewis') argument. I suppose there's no shame however, in failing to compete with Aquinas; he was after all (with the possible exception of Isaac Newton) the greatest genius who ever lived.

The second passage that I think best demonstrates Dawkins' inability to address the philosophical arguments for God's existence is this one:

"A common argument, attributed among others to C.S. Lewis (who should have known better), states that, since Jesus claimed to be the Son of God, he must have been either right or else insane or a liar." Dawkins continues, "The historical evidence that Jesus claimed any sort of divine status is minimal. But even if that evidence were good, the trilemma on offer would be ludicrously inadequate. A fourth possibility, almost too obvious to need mentioning, is that Jesus was honestly mistaken."

Dawkins is speaking of a passage in Mere Christianity that, in addition to proving that indeed Christ did claim divinity, states this:

"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell...Either this man was, and is, the Son of God; or else a madman or something worse."

And Lewis is right. He (correctly) presupposes what Dawkins does not: that it is impossible to be "honestly mistaken" about whether or not you are the omnipotent creator of the universe. We have names for people who think so; we call them, as Lewis does, madmen. Or Lunatics. Or bonkers. Or a thousand other names which we have applied to men like David Koresh. The trilemma that Lewis poses therefore remains intact.

Dawkins' does make some valid criticisms of arguments for God's existence. He wittily refutes, for example, St. Anselm's ontological proof. In addition to that, he makes some well-founded, appropriate criticisms of the Bible.

In any case, I have concentrated on what I found lacking in the book because, to me, that is most interesting. If I were to review the book more fully I could mention any number of praiseworthy attributes such as Dawkins' wit, style, clear and well written prose etc. etc. etc. Indeed the book is quite enjoyable and thought-provoking and I recommend reading it regardless of your personal viewpoints or religion.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Billy Connolly

I already thought this guy was a genius for his comedy, I had no idea he could play the banjo like this.

Click here to see Billy Connolly play Cripple Creek (not the song by The Band).

Also, unless you want to here an enormous amount of profanity in a heavy Scottish accent (who wouldn't want to hear that?) I wouldn't recommend viewing any other Billy Connolly clips.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Toronto Snow Day

I guess 4 snowflakes blew into the city off of Lake Ontario today because everyone is in a panic and everything has been shut down.

Actually I think we've been pounded with a wopping 8 or 9 centimetres of snow. Par for the course in Northern Ontario. I guess here this constitutes a big deal. Everything has been shut down and I guess everyone is hiding in their bomb shelters or something.

They never closed schools for us in the Soo. Four feet could fall in a night and we'd be there in Kingy's class the next day.

Of course when your teacher is Mr. Freeze, I guess a little snow doesn't bother him.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Attack the Internet? But it's so Wholesome

According to this story in today's Globe and Mail, a group of hackers made a considerable attempt to derail the internet last night. From what I understand -- and I'm no techmologist -- they sent enormous quantities of information to three central sites that keep most of the internet running in an attempt overwhelm the computers and destory them. I guess Data and Jordi handled the situation though because internet usage was completely uninterupted. It's a darn good thing too, otherwise without the warning she received, my wife might have recklessly stopped for gas and left without checking for a gang member in the back seat, also I might not have sent that forward out in time to get a million dollars from Bill Gates.

In any case, a significant attack on the internet begs the question: why?

Whose life has the internet ever ruined? Certainly not the Star Wars Kid's. The internet is a source only of good.

Online banking has made paying bills and checking my balance ultra-convenient. And I feel perfectly secure - especially after that guy from the bank called last week to make sure the account number and PIN I told him matched his records. I'm sure the subsequent draining of all my savings is completely unrelated and will work itself out somehow.

Also, I sure am glad that the internet allows me to share my Christian faith simply by forwarding an email to everyone I know about how guilty I should feel about not sharing my Christian faith.

On top of all that, what marriage hasn't recieved a supportive boost from the secret viewing of pornography? Statistics that I made up that are neither true nor make any sense state that 100 per cent of marriages in which pornography is a part stay together 60 per cent of the time. Speaking of marriage, take a look at how the net has helped these folks

And who isn't thankful for Google Earth? I've killed more hours at work looking for satellite photos of my house -- no wonder I got canned (Oh yeah, Amy, we need to talk about my job).

In any case, let's not let a few crazies, left wing types mostly, get in the way of our ever so useful .com-ing.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Intersting news since my last post...

I have this feeling that sometime next year, or possibly this year, someone is going to make a comment something to the effect of, "hey, remember blogs?"

This comment will have roughly the same effect as the comment, "hey, remember Alf?" or "hey, remember Ren & Stimpy?" or "hey, remember slap-on bracelets?" (does anyone else actually remember slap-on bracelets?).

Anyway...I figured I'd give an update to see if anyone is even still bothering to look at this site.

So first, interesting news related to me.

Well, last semester I often told my wife that, no, I can not do the dishes, help with making supper, or indeed even get off the couch because, unless she wanted me to flunk out of school, I needed the time to study. Following this, Amy would question the academic value of watching repeats of The Simpsons, to which I would reply, "you're an academic value."

Anyhoo, I guess all that not helping my wife around the house paid off because I managed some decent grades last semester. This led to the realization that one day in the not-so-distant future, I will graduate with an arts degree in history and english literature. This led to the further realization that unless I gain some classroom experience with which to apply to teachers college, I will be the proud possessor of an entirely useless degree. So I will soon be going twice a week to Port Credit Secondary School to be a teacher's aid in a history or an english class. In these classes I hope to gain valuable experience by being the only one in the class who is immature enough to do arm-pit farts while the teacher's back is turned, or make a comment such as, "Wilfred Laurier? More like Wilfred BORE-ier"

So that's about the only interesting news in my life at the moment. I apologize if, because of the title of this post you may have thought that there actually was some interesting news coming.

Next, interesting news from around the globe that doesn't get a lot of coverage in Canada.

My ancestral home of Scotland may be splitting off entirely from the United Kingdom one day soon. Elections for the Scottish Parliament are scheduled for May and the Scottish National Party (SNP) is well ahead in the polls. The SNP has said it will hold a referendum on seperation if it gets into power -- why does this sound so familiar? -- and polls show that about 53 - 55 per cent of the Scottish population favour independence. What kind of mischief will that crazy Mel Gibson stir up next?



What the new Scotland would look like, ie. a Dominion under the British Commonwealth, or a republic like (Southern) Ireland is still yet to be determined as far as I know. Also to be determined is whether or not the new government would allow my cattle-theiving family back into the new Scotland, and whether or not they have any use for people with useless arts degrees.

Oh yeah, let me mention that I turned on the word verification on this blog after the comments section of my last post became filled with blog-spam, including that unfortunate spam regarding 'shemale' something or other. So I apoligize if leaving a comment here makes you feel like your at the ticketmaster website. Smell you all later.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Sundin and Raycroft

I know that no one who may read this, excepting me, cares about the Leafs. However, this is my blog; it's my birthday in two days; it's a free country; and I don't care what you all say, the Leafs are awesome; so if I want to ostricize the already small readership of this blog by writing about stuff no one cares about I will.

Anhoo, recently we lost both our Captain, Mats Sundin, and number one goalie Andrew Raycroft, both seen here. Sundin is out 3-4 weeks with a torn ligament in his elbow, and Raycroft is listed day to day with a groin injury.












Now since I was a teenager, the only way I have been able to express myself is through the medium of movies and television. Let me in this way, therefore, express how I feel about these two potentially catastrophic injuries.


"This is a bummer...man"



"!&$%*$...IS THAT GOAL REGULATION SIZE OR WHAT!!!"




"Dang!"




"You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society."




"This is no good. This is no good!!"




"I don't want to talk about last night...it'll only make me mad."




"I could have drownded Gilbert!!!"